How to Disperse the Riots Inside of You

TheRiotsWithin

I have many riots going on inside me!!

Just the other day I posted something personal on Facebook and received very few likes. Within seconds my ego started shouting. Most riots start peacefully, and this one too started that way, with my ego demonstrating its dissatisfaction with just a few simple things. My ego organizes demonstrations almost every day so this was not out of the ordinary. My ego used high expectations, selfishness and disappointment in his demonstration – nothing that required me to call in more police reinforcements or acceptance. My ego demonstrations are an everyday occurrence. We are all used to it by now.

The problems started when 10 hours had passed by and my ego realized there were still only two likes on my post. He was not having it. He started with yelling things like, “No one likes you,” “You are horrible,” “No one cares about you,” “You have no friends,” etc. He then turned and threw the first stone at me. “Look how many likes Jennifer got for a stupid post about eating ice cream! You are pathetic!” Then out of nowhere showed up shame, blame, self-hatred, embarrassment, depression and many more. And just like that, I had a riot on my hands.

The rioters got louder and crazier with time. They started looting my thoughts and my beliefs; they broke into my spirit and stole anything that had to do with my heart. I had no choice – I had to call for help. I couldn’t fight them by myself. I couldn’t keep the order and peace in my streets anymore. It was getting out of control. I was getting hurt. So I put in the call for reinforcements – the big guns, my national guard. Love, compassion, acceptance and my heart showed up in full force and riot gear. They formed a line holding their shields up against the words and sentences that were thrown at them by the rioters. It was getting intense. The rioters were not letting go. They started getting more and more personal and hurtful, throwing thoughts like, “Nothing will ever work out for you!” “Everything you do fails!” and, “You’re 41 and still no one likes you. It’s over. Give it up!” My forces held a firm line, only responding when feelings felt like they may get out of control.

After a day, when the rioters showed no signs of stopping or even slowing down, I had to intervene.
I gave the order to love, compassion, acceptance and my heart to march forward and take control of the situation. It was time. They started using affirmations, meditation and Kundalini yoga to disperse the rioters – in some neighborhoods more than others. They continued nonstop without letting go, using the powerful tools at their disposal to break down the large crowd of shame that had gathered. They arrested the self-hatred looters and finally sprayed all over, remaining present until there were only a few scattered, non-harmful rioters left.
This riot was over and under control for today.

Some riots are not that easy to dismantle. They take days, months, sometimes even years. My addiction riot took years and the only way it ended was with the fall of the addiction government and the rise of sobriety as the ruling force. My self-worth riot has been going on for years. It has turned into a long, stand out, conflicted war that has had many peace agreements and summits attempts, all of which have failed and there’s no end to the conflict in sight.

Do you have any riots inside of you?

Hopefully by solving the riots within us we can prevent the riots in the streets of the world

A Non-Political Post about Addiction

It was reported in the news last week that there is an addiction epidemic in the U.S., and since it’s a pre-election year, of course, some of the candidates are finding themselves needing to address this issue. Below is a CNN article that was written about a town hall meeting Jeb Bush had in New Hampshire last week. (http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/19/politics/jeb-bush-addiction-problem/index.html)

First of all, the fact that a presidential candidate even talks about the subject of addiction is great! Addiction does tend to get talked about in the main stream in terms of law enforcement, criminal activity and public scandals but not as a subject that touches millions of people’s lives every day like eating unhealthily and financial debts.

My heart goes out to Jeb Bush and his daughter for, first, having to deal with addiction and, secondly, for having to deal with it publicly. I know from my own experience of battling addiction that the amount of shame, regret, powerlessness, and refusal to forgive yourself feels almost impossible to experience alone in your room, so to go through that publicly is something I can’t even imagine.

But it’s time to get real here—Addiction is an EMOTIONAL disease, so the only way to experience recovery and get better is with EMOTIONAL healthiness, and that means learning to feel your feelings. All of them.

You can’t solve the addiction problem by working so hard to stop it from being sold on the streets. You can’t stop the addiction epidemic by only admitting it’s a problem that “we” need to address. You can’t stop the addiction that is plaguing the United States with understanding and sympathy, as great as they are.

How do you stop it? You make feeling okay. You make feeling everything okay. You have a town hall meeting and talk about feelings. You write a teaching plan that talks about feelings. You bring feelings to corporate America and to the health care system. You make feelings okay.

And Jeb Bush knows that. He was quoted in an article published in The Daily Mail: Regarding his daughter’s 2002 drug arrest, he said that his daughter needs to “resolve in her heart and mind that she needs to change. She needs to accept responsibility,” he insisted. “She knows that we love her.”

We are all humans.

Why are feelings and emotions so scary for us to bring into our daily lives of schools, jobs and political campaigns, even though they are the only things that can make us better?

http://www.cnn.com/2015/08/19/politics/jeb-bush-addiction-problem/index.html

How to fight YOUR resistance against attending self-help & self-discovery workshops

You saw the ad and for some reason stopped and read it. You want to feel what the workshop offers; you dream about that feeling when you are alone at night. Should you go to that workshop?  What? No! It’s too expensive, and you are saving for your cousin’s wedding in Florida. It’s on Saturday, and that’s the only time you have to rest at home and do nothing. What you really need to learn is better character writing, better resume writing, better time management, new design software — that’s what will make you feel like you want to feel, and besides that, what do feelings have to do with anything that you want to achieve in life. This workshop is so not for you! Thank God you didn’t signed up!

Congratulations! You are experiencing resistance. Yes, it is a great thing. It means that you are stepping out of your comfort zone, where everything is the same and where you are not happy. It means that you are going toward some scary things that will help you change to be more of who you want to be and to have more of what you want to have. The first step in changing is always resistance. So, Mazal-Tov!

I have a personal passion and a vision: bringing self-help, self-development, self-discovery & emotional work to everyday life. And everyday life is full of resistance towards oneself. For example, a writer is told that in order to finish her book she needs to have a long, and sometimes painful, conversation with her inner critic and her inner judge, and that it can’t be a one-sided conversation where she yells at them for ruining her life. Or a college student that feels like no one likes her is told that what she is feeling may be a reflection of how she feels about herself. Or a talented person on unemployment is taught that learning the true value of himself, not the number resumes he sends out, is what will get him the next job,. Are you starting to feel any resistance?

The rule that goes against logic is that the more you resist a workshop or a course, the more a part of you — the part that is present, honest, loves you and has your best interest at heart —  really wants you to participate in it. And all of your other parts are just screaming at it to shut the fu** up. That fear that you are feeling is just a feeling — an enormous, intense, and very uncomfortable feeling — but still just a feeling. And the secret is that at the other side of that fear, and at the other side of wanting to crawl out of your skin and run as far away as you can, feeling, there are huge feelings of joy, freedom, achievement, and self-trust as well as amazing lessons that change you forever, thereby changing your life.

Still feeling resistant? You know what to do…